"It's not our fault; we just happen to have a really good team": Twilight Sparkle

"It's not our fault; we just happen to have a really good team": Twilight Sparkle

By Scott Hoffman
The Daily Twilight
December 14, 2023

The finger-pointing and accusations of collusion between Twilight Sparkle, the founder of Twilight Sparkle University, and Twilight Sparkle Unicorns Football Head Coach M.A. Larson are reaching critical mass. Across the other campuses, such as Applejack State University, Fluttershy College, Pinkie Pie University and Rarity College of the Arts, fans are asking why their teams have bowl-eligible records but were not invited to a bowl game.



"It's not our fault; we just happen to have a really good football team," Twilight Sparkle said. "You need to be thanking us, we are raising the profile of this conference. And we continue to lead the way in terms of academics. Of course when you are the leader, it's going to harbor resentment, but that comes with being successful as we have been."

One student, an 67-year old 10th year freshman from Pinkie Pie by the name of @doh, argued that the odds are tilted in Twilie's favor because of the coach.

"Of course Twilight will go bowling every year, they are a really good team, that's why they win national championships as a habit," said doh. "I don't know why you are asking me if my school got hard done by, I can only say we're just not recruiting hard enough. But hey, give me an 8-4 record over 4-8 any old day, I'll stick to my simulation baseball!"

Another, a 56-year old sophomore student from Rarity by the name of @Karl Hungus, says that Twilight Sparkle must be kicked out of the PonyCon to restore competitive balance.

"Why not? Of course, it's going to screw all of us, but at least we'll have a new team in charge of the conference, which needs other schools," said Hungus. "But at least our baseball team is decent."

Spirit football offensive coordinator Travis Rountsaville, a.k.a. @Travis7401, was visibly disappointed that Fluttershy did not qualify for a bowl game but looked on the bright side.

"We got a winning record, we got to eight wins, now I need to make sure I still have a job here at this college because I might need to put my cottage in the Everfree up for sale," said Routsaville, who was busy playing another round of Call of Duty before hanging up.

Twilight Sparkle faces Georgia in the 2024 BCS National Championship Game. Twilie is a 3-1 favorite to win, with the over/under set to 80.