2012: A Year in Review

2012: A Year in Review

By Jim Sumlin
The Daily Yay
January 15, 2013

What a year in college football. The Western Athletic Conference returned with a vengeance, and the Twilight Sparkle Unicorns flew the flag proudly for all of Ponyville en route to their first-ever BCS National Championship. Along the way, many records fell and opposing defenses could only watch as the six teams blazed their way to greatness. All but Pinkie Pie went bowling, a true testament to the WAC's resilience.

With these six schools leading the way, the WAC will be a driving force in college football for many years to come.

The Twilight Sparkle Unicorns, under head coach Derpy Hooves, utilized their Wingboner and Wild Muffin formations to perfection. Quarterback Tony Hickman passed for 4,075 yards and 57 touchdowns, fullback Bennie Means ran for 2,293 yards and 40 scores and wideout D.J. Pretorius caught 59 passes for 1860 yards and 26 touchdowns. Middle linebacker Bobby Black led the team in tackles with 87, cornerback Adam Pressley garnered 24 interceptions and defensive tackle Jeff Postlethwaite recorded 43 sacks. Twilight had the toughest schedule of all the WAC teams, scoring big victories over Wisconsin, Alabama, USC (twice), LSU, Arkansas, Florida State and Boise State.

Rarity's younger sister, Sweetie Belle, is a relative novice to coaching the game of football, but being able to treat the game as if designing football plays like suits and dresses worked relatively well, as the Royals' "Haute Football Couture" offense led to a Sugar Bowl victory, an 11-2 record and a #3 ranking at the end of the season. Quarterback Andrew Maynard passed for 5,368 yards and 52 touchdowns, Tailback Bryan McPherson, one of the greatest running backs in WAC history, ran for 5,021 yards and 67 TD. Wide receiver Anthony "The Tiger" Terrell caught 68 passes for 17 touchdowns. Middle lineback Blake Silva amassed 201 tackles, Brandon Fleming led the team in interceptions with 10 and defensive tackle Matthew Randolph led the Royals in sacks with 52.

Mention Fluttershy Spirit football, and you have to mention one player: quarterback Carl Porter. A gunslinger with an attitude, the man the team like to call "Cole" passed for 7,760 yards and 75 touchdowns. Tailback Dennis Upshaw had 3,764 yards on the ground to go with 57 touchdowns for Berry Punch's Spirit. Wideout Brad Ortiz has 83 catches for 1856 yards as well as 23 touchdowns. Middle linebacker amazzed 178 tackles, while cornerback Paul McDowell led Fluttershy in interceptions with 9. The Spirit's top sack man was defensive tackle Cedric Meyer with 28. Fluttershy finished the season 10-3 (2-3 WAC) and won the 2012 Famous Idaho Potato Bowl to finish 11th in the country..

Big MacIntosh's Apple Pistol Offense was enough to see the Applejack State Appleknockers secure a 10-3 record (2-3 WAC) and a big Sheraton Hawaii Bowl victory on the side. At the heart of the Apple Pistol Offense was "Slingin' Sam" Houston, with 5,046 passing yards and 65 touchdowns. Houston also ran for 2,081 yards and 37 touchdowns on the ground. Will "The Tree" Ochiltree led the receiving crew with 1,396 yards and 22 touchdowns. Middle linebacker Henry Clay led the defense in tackles with 172, cornerback Deaf Smith led the Knockers in picks with nine and defensive tackle Charlie Haskell led in sacks with 22. Applejack State finished the season ranked 14th in the country.

A team loaded with the best European talent to play the game of American Football wasn't enough for Vinyl Scratch's Rainbow Dash Rainbows to win the WAC, but it was enough to give them a 10-3 record (2-3 WAC), a Poinsettia Bowl victory and a #12 ranking in the country. Quarterback John Paul Jones passed for 4,853 yards and 49 touchdowns, tailback Csaba Walko ran for 3,176 yards and 46 scores and the "Epic Sax Guy," wideout Sergey Stepanov caught 75 passes for 1,553 yards and 19 touchdowns. Linebacker Gabriel Baruta amassed 185 tackles, cornerback Vlatko Ilievski recorded 11 interceptions, and defensive tackle John Grimes led the Rainbows with 35 sacks.

Cheeri Lee's Pinkie Pie Major Trouble were the only team not to go bowling despite being bowl eligible at 7-4 (1-4 WAC). As a result, they were the designated WAC bowl headquarters, where fans of all six schools could gather to watch the postseason. Quarterback Adrian Garrison passed for 2,082 yards and 20 touchdowns, tailback Todd "The Mod Bod" Parker ran for 3,529 yards and 56 touchdowns, and wide receiver Alex Burrell caught 42 passes for 937 yards and nine touchdowns. On defense, middle linebacker William Goodwin had 159 tackles, converted halfback Justin Guevara made eight interceptions, while defensive tackle Lamont Richardson had 42 sacks.